The war of hot people vs. cold people

Originally printed by the Times-Georgian newspaper on September 26, 1995

by Winston Jones

There's been a lot written in modern psychological literature about the Type A and Type B personalities.  We also have Sheldon's theory of personality and body size.  I'm proposing a new system of personality classification - hot people and cold people.

This is the time of year when hot people are at their greatest conflict.  Cold people panic because the outside temperature has dropped to 50 degrees and run to turn on the furnace.  Hot people think this is the ideal weather.  In fact, it's a little stuffy, so the run to turn on the air conditioner.  A constant battle rages in many homes and automobiles during these spring and fall weather changes.  It's a battle of heat versus air conditioning and the chasm of difference is as wide as that between the North and South during the Civil War.  Usually, men are hot people and women are cold people, but this is not always the case.

First of all, let me admit I'm writing this from a prejudiced point of view.  I'm a hot person.  On a heat quotient scale of one to 10, I'm about a 10.5!  I think it's an inherited trait.  My father was a fresh air fanatic and would sit with open doors and windows during freezing Virginia mountain winters.

Unfortunately, my wife is a cold person.  While I run around during this weather in my T-shirt and shorts, she wears long pants and a coat.  She insists it's cold and I insist it's hot.

In order to better educate the public and prevent the kind of misunderstandings that cause great conflicts and drive families apart, I'm going to share some of my research into hot and cold people.

• Cold people enjoy summer, hate winter and barely tolerate the cold parts of spring and fall.  Hot people detest summer, enjoy winter and love the cool spring and autumn nights.
• Cold people buy lots of sweaters, overcoats and hats.  Hot people get lots of heavy coats and sweaters for Christmas gifts, but they throw them into the backs of their closets and continue to wear their T-shirts and summer pants.
• Cold people buy wool, knits and heavy polyesters.  Hot people wear cotton.
• Cold people hate the winter season because it's so cold.  Hot people hate the winder season because most homes are overheated.
• Hot people hate the summer because it's so hot.  Cold people hate the summer because everywhere they go, the air conditioning is too cold.  They carry sweaters and jackets with them throughout the summer.
• Cold people drink coffee throughout the year.  Hot people drink lots of iced tea, even in the winter.
• Cold people always wear gloves.  Hot people manage to lose the gloves that cold people give them for birthday gifts.
• Cold people always tell hot people they're going to catch a cold going out coatless in the winter.  However, it's usually the cold people who catch the colds.
• The favorite saying of hot people is "Wheew."  Cold people say, "Brrrrrr."
• Cold people like to lie out in the sun during the summer.  Hot people like to jog in their shorts and tank tops during the depths of winter.
• Hot people keep fans in their offices for extra cooling.  Cold people keep space heaters in their offices to warm their feet.
• Cold people like to pick up clothes at the cleaners.  Hot people prefer shopping in the frozen food section of the supermarket.

Hot people appear to be attracted to cold people and vice-versa.  Families also tend to split 50-50 along hot-cold lines.  Therefore, in the interest of harmony, we must learn to coexist.

However, at the moment, I'm generating too much heat at this keyboard, so I'm heading for a brisk walk in the refreshing outdoors.  It sure does feel nice!

Comments

[carola150]

so I guess I'm definitely a cold girl but I do know people who are "colder" than me like my mom for example..so I also presume there are "grades" of coldness or hotness in people right?